ReadingLirael, As You Like It, The English Patient, Heart of Darkness, Suikoden III, Candidate for Goddess
Watching House, Rick Mercer's Monday Report, Gilmore Girls, Scrubs, Corner Gas, Aishiteruze Baby, Prince of Tennis, Hikaru no Go
Playing The Bard's Tale, Katamari Damacy, Curse of Monkey Island, Final Fantasy VI, Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, Pretty Barbie Dressup Party Final Fantasy X-2(group gaming)
Back-burner Star Ocean: Till the End of Time, Star Ocean: The Second Story, Final Fantasy Tactics: Advance, Baldur's Gate: Tales of the Sword Coast, Planescape: Torment, Final Fantasy VII
Obsessing Firefly, Erik and Ray, Impulse/Bart Allen, Ford Prefect, Monkey Island, Nostalgia.
Upcoming Things of Importance January 5 First day of classes January 14 Birthday party January 16 Jaryn and Matt Are Old Day
layout
Is by Meimi, that wonderful Goddess who brings joy and happiness to the hearts of Ingrids.
This time, Meimi brought joy by doing a layout of Isumi Shinichirou and Waya Yoshitaka, of Hikaru no Go. It is full of wub.
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It's weird
6/2/2004 07:42:56 PM
I post stuff like this because . . . it's important to get it out, I think, even if I can't talk to anyone about it because who would care? I wouldn't care and I know what the people I sometimes talk to would say, so I don't say it to them either, but I say it to notepad and it's all someone like me can do.
Is it strange to be angry at someone about something that hasn't actually happened yet, but you know will happen, because that's the way your life always goes, and it doesn't matter what you do or say, that's how things will turn out, and maybe you wonder if your conviction that it's going to happen is part of why it turns out that way, but you know there isn't really anything you could do about it even if you wanted to, and you sort of want the thing you're angry about to happen, because you don't deserve good things to happen in your life, and so good things never do happen?
I think it must be strange.
I don't know why I thought my life would be better after I moved out of my parents house. In their way, things are worse now than they were this time last year. I don't have those few people who knew just what to say to cheer me up, to make me forget that I hate myself, to make me just stop thinking, around anymore. They're gone, and it's at times like this, when I'm all alone with no one to talk to, but I'm too miserable to do anything to occupy my mind, that I remember, and I feel so alone it hurts.
I wonder why I thought if I could just stay in the apartment over the summer, just get a job here, things would be okay. I thought other people wanted me around this summer, I thought they'd miss me if I wasn't in town, don't know why, because I wouldn't miss me and obviously neither would they.
I went out for a walk. It was raining, but just a gentle kind of rain, and I only got a bit wet, and I went to the empty place. But it's not empty anymore, there's lots of grass, really green grass, growing thick and heavy, and dandelions and little weeds with tiny white bunches of flowers on them, and it's not empty.
There's flowers on some trees around the Park, white ones and bright bright pink ones, and they're pretty and I kind of like to sit and look at them for a bit, and wonder what kind of trees they are.
My mother would know.
In a couple days, my mother's going to be bald. And it's weird. And it makes me feel kind of sad and weird, too, and I don't know if it's because my mother who's always had her long long hair her entire life is going to be bald, or because I'm not going to be there when she gets it all cut and shaved off.
I got an e-mail from my mother, at the beginning of the week, talking about her dance recital (for a school that's now being shut down, a dance school I attended in it's first year and a member of my family's attended every year since, and now it's closed and I wasn't there for the final final recital) and the big church potluck that she danced at, and my brother and one of his friend played at. My brother got a guitar for his birthday, and his friend's an accomplished bassist, and apparently they sang their own songs and were good and everyone had a lot of fun.
My family's actually becoming like a family now, and it's weird, because it's a family that doesn't include me, and I know if I were there, it would be all yelling and shouting and my brother would be miserable and my mother would be stressed and my father would seize any chance he could to be out of the house. It's weird.
The wacky Saturday night adventures of Ingrid and Matt
5/30/2004 10:07:26 AM
"Atlantica makes it burn when you pee." "Atlantica is herpes." - Ingrid and Matt.
I limped past Tramps the other day, and picked up a copy of "Radio Fifth Grade" for Ven. Hooray hooray! I also picked up a copy of "To Say Nothing of the Dog" for myself, because my copy's mysteriously disappeared.
My tea's not giving me much of a buzz this morning. My eyes still feel heavy.
I was up until two last night - Matt was over, we hung out. Had supper (adventures in Ingrid's very tiny kitchen), watched three episodes of Dogtato-kun (no words), looked at the Delta Force 4 demo ("Too. Much. Plot. Wanna kill!"), and Matt brought over his unopened copy of Dual Hearts ("Dude, you bought Atlus does Legend of Zelda") through which we, um, spent a lot of time going Boooooooooooobs! Because we are very mature. Actually, it looks fun, but when we started up Matt said "Let's put it on expert difficulty!" which I did and as a result got killed by a giant bag of money that looked like a plucked chicken carcass.
Matt decided that the hero looked like a raver, I decided if he was a raver, he was a gay one, because he did that damn hairflip thing, or he would have, if, yanno, his hair had been there to flip. We named him Mistah T. Because we are Very Mature.
Then, because we wanted to, we went to BPs and drank lots of pop and ate ribs and garlic bread and cheesecake, and tried to blow up the people in the bar with our minds. I also said that I thought being a bouncer would be the coolest thing ever, and Matt made fun of me, so I kicked him and tried to stab him with a fork.
We did not get kicked out.
We went to Safeway, got three bottles of coke (regular, diet, and diet lime) and then came back and attacked Kingdom Hearts with great vigour!
We went to the Hollow Bastion and yeah, I totally pwned Riku's scrawny ass, and I wish we could have kept the wooden sword, because so less gay than 90% of the keyblades! Matt pointed out that the Hollow Bastion would be really cool, but the first thing you get on arriving is Goofy going "Gawrsh!" which Matt said made it very like playing FFVII with a retarded redneck/five-year-old. There were many many maze puzzles, however, and after getting the white trinity (which, oh holy god, was not a head humping trinity) and reshelved some books before going on our merry way to rescue puppies and get all the trinities we missed.
I checked on gamefaqs and there's a white trinity in every goddamn world. This means that we HAVE TO GO BACK TO ATLANTICA. Oh, it burns, it burns. I guess it could be worse, 'cause Matt wants stuff to synth things, so we need to fight more battles anyway, but shit, man. Atlantica!
While playing we talked about many things. We talked about the Kingdom Hearts sequel, and I talked about how I'll kill Square-Enix if they make me live through Atlantica again. We discussed Advents Children with the usual comments about homoerotic dreams of Cloud Strife, and the fact that Cloud looks realy fucking hot in sunglasses, and Final Fantasy VII in general. Because we are highly intellectual individuals.
Before Matt left I made him listen to "The Internet is for Porn" and "If You Were Gay".
And that was my night.
Hoping in the next game Atlantica's been blown up, Almighty Ingrid, Signing Off
