ReadingLirael, As You Like It, The English Patient, Heart of Darkness, Suikoden III, Candidate for Goddess
Watching House, Rick Mercer's Monday Report, Gilmore Girls, Scrubs, Corner Gas, Aishiteruze Baby, Prince of Tennis, Hikaru no Go
Playing The Bard's Tale, Katamari Damacy, Curse of Monkey Island, Final Fantasy VI, Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, Pretty Barbie Dressup Party Final Fantasy X-2(group gaming)
Back-burner Star Ocean: Till the End of Time, Star Ocean: The Second Story, Final Fantasy Tactics: Advance, Baldur's Gate: Tales of the Sword Coast, Planescape: Torment, Final Fantasy VII
Obsessing Firefly, Erik and Ray, Impulse/Bart Allen, Ford Prefect, Monkey Island, Nostalgia.
Upcoming Things of Importance January 5 First day of classes January 14 Birthday party January 16 Jaryn and Matt Are Old Day
layout
Is by Meimi, that wonderful Goddess who brings joy and happiness to the hearts of Ingrids.
This time, Meimi brought joy by doing a layout of Isumi Shinichirou and Waya Yoshitaka, of Hikaru no Go. It is full of wub.
.
Disgaea, Pants, Fucktards, and Final Fantasy X: Enter the Wanker
2/12/2004 11:25:51 PM
"Auron calmly replies, 'I was waiting for you.' I wonder if Auron is Tightass's sugar daddy. He's quite a bit older than him, so I could see that. Except that Auron is cool and Tightass is a wanker."
My 17th century literature professor has gone to the Gulf of Mexico, so I had no classes today. Instead of doing something sensible, like starting work on the hideous death paper of boredom that's due in the beginning of March I . . . played Disgaea. In fact, it was my goal to spend the entire day playing Disgaea, remain in my pajamas, and never leave the apartment.
Sadly, none of these things happened.
I -did- play Disgaea, long enough to finally complete the tenth level of an item world, and good lord do I need to level my characters up before I try to complete an item world in it's entirety. Some of those worlds are tough, y0. But I eventually took a break because there's only so much insane levelling up and slashing of things I can do in a day, I suppose. I ended up popping Final Fantasy X in, but more on that later. Much more.
While I was on the tenth level of the item dungeon, however, the fire alarm went off, and so I was forced to put on pants and stagger down several flights of stairs and stand around in the snow outside, waiting with everyone else who came out, waiting waiting . . . until the fire department showed up.
Obviously my building did not burn to a cinder, because here I am, typing another pointless blog entry. In fact, there was apparently no fire at all - some brilliant fucktard just decided to set the damn thing off, according to one of the firemen. Well, they didn't say it in those terms, but that's what they meant.
But enough about the fucktards in my building - let's talk about the fucktards in videogames instead.
I started FFX and was instantly set upon by a feeling . . . a feeling that Square -really- wants to be making movies. Seriously. Playing through, confronted by shiny graphics, funky music, and horrible voice acting, I was further convinced of this fact, especially since the game seems to go on -forever- before you're actually able to do anything, and half of the time all that was was walking from one cutscene to the next. I am so not impressed, Square.
Also, Tightass Tidus really is a wanker. His voice actor is horrible, but at least he doesn't try to match the english dub with the movements of Tightass Tidus' mouth, like Wakka (who makes me think of Fozzy Bear) does. There's just exstensive and pointless pauses when he's speaking in his Wankese voiceovers. Really, can I just pray to Square to give us a Japanese voiceover option for the next game? Pretty please? It would hurt me so much less.
So far, nothing makes sense, the main character is a whiny little shit, and good -lord- is it boring thus far. Slowly, slowly things are starting to show signs of not-sucking, but at almost two hours into the game, this isn't exactly promising.
Also, please, for the love of everything, could we stop with the random and pointless pseudo-cracked-out-flashbacks? Because they make no sense, and I just want to play a -game-.
Developing a healthy fear of wankers, Almighty Ingrid, Signing Off
A first time for everything
2/11/2004 10:47:03 PM
"Yes, Mr. T is a dragon."
I can't help but feel I should mark this on the calendar as 'First Time Ingrid Finished a Final Fantasy Day' because for a while there it looked like it was never going to happen, what with the eternal hell of difficulties that have been plaguing me for -year-s with Final Fantasy VII, my general disinterest in Final Fantasy VIII, and the fact that I found myself falling asleep while trying to play Final Fantasy Origins.
This, of course, means I'll have to do up a review, probably before I leave for Suicide Break, even. Blaargh.
On the bright side - Zidane is a little dork and he totally rocks my world.
You punch him but good, Dagger, Almighty Ingrid, Signing Off
Why yes, I -am- 1337
2/11/2004 07:38:40 PM
"What are -you- smiling about?" "Can't you tell? I'm looking forward to my demise. And my freedom."
I could do coherent post about the last episode of Fucktard, or Sunday when my mum came. I could talk about how I've set gears in motion to sit in on some law classes and maybe some other stuff. I could mention that I'll be leaving Friday afternoon to spend part of Suicide Break with my parents.
-Or- I could sit here cackling like a lunatic because I beat Ozma.
TAKE THAT BITCH, I FUCKING OWN YOUR ASS BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Really, sanity is highly overrated, Almighty Ingrid, Signing Off
A Whale's Bowels, Ass-kicking Fucktard, and Underwater Hell in Atlantica
2/8/2004 10:08:30 AM
"I prefer to think of the guys you date as numbers so I don't think of them as people and miss them when they're gone."
Welcome to another fun-filled night of gaming with Ingrid and Matt (because Shelly, quite sensibly, left after a couple hours to do something more worthwhile with her time).
We are still playing Kingdom Hearts, of course, and since last time we were still in the multi-coloured pastel inards of the monstrous whale of DOOM. We run around, are taunted by Riku, try to save Pinocchio's worthless wooden ass, find out that a whale's bowels lead to it's throat, and other fun and cracked out things.
At one point there was a bit of complicated jumping to be done in the main whale piece, that required a lot of previously impossible high jumping. I actually managed to do that until we were right near the exit, where there was a little tiny gap. Which I fell through. At this point Matt began to laugh his ass off, and I punched him about five times in rapid succession.
I find comfort in the fact that when Matt has a go at it, although he doesn't fall through the little gap, he takes a fucking long time to make the first jump. Also, I laugh at him.
The boss fights on this pseudo-world are really simple, I take care of them myself without needing a retry. It does, however, have a serious case of gas, and I have to dance around and try and avoid -stomach- acid. Still, we save the stupid wooden sex toy doll, and the whale explodes us out for no particular reason.
We're also treated to a little scene of why the fuck Riku's being such a little dipshit, and we all wonder why Riku hasn't noticed that Maleficient is evil. Aside from, you know, her name -oozing- evil, we also ahd this discussion: Ingrid: How can he not tell she's evil when she's all in black and has those horns and things. Matt: Didn't he see her movie? Ingrid: Matt, if they had movies on his island world thing, I really doubt they'd have had to spend time hitting each other with sticks for fun.
After finishing up this trippy world of intestinal fun, guaranteed to confuse you on your next anatomy exam, we went back to crack town where for some reason I uttered the phrase "Goddamn you, you boney little bastard!" and Matt begged for me to never use the word 'boney' to describe Sora again. We only returned to the cracktown so Matt could put more guns on our gummi ship. We once more had a delightful spree of laughing our asses off as Matt increased the hideous power of Monstrosty, which now looks like a giant multicoloured candy cube with bigass engines on one side and a myriad of guns and lasers on the other. Also, something that looks like a giant yellow surfboard strapped to the bottom (actually an array of wings - they're just barely attached to the ship itself! it'll fly!).
Apparently the gummi-pedalling monsters have a different definition of flyable than the rest of the world, because Monstrosty is once more cleared for takeoff, and, because Matt wants to kill things, we head to the colloseum, and wonder why we don't just blow it up with our massive block of laser power. Matt goes in, and, after a few tries, I'm treated to the sight of him killing a pixelated Fucktard, and for a brief moment, the world is a better place.
Unfortunately, after Matt's kicked the Colloseum, we have to carry on the whole plot thing, and so Shelly flies us to the next in the series of hellspawn worlds we'd rather forget - Atlantica.
Now, the jungle world of doom gave me good incentive to burn down the world's rainforests, and the desert world (aka. the world wherein Sora pole danced a lot) gave me good incentive to . . . do whatever it is you can do to a desert that's damaging. Atlantica gives me good incentive to DRAIN THE WORLD'S OCEAN. Not only is it an illogical floating crop of holey rock filled with seawater (not that any of these places are logical), but before we even get into it, we're treated to Donald Duck and Sora having an incredibly stupid little fight, and, somehow, we managed to land Monstrosty in the hell world thanks to Donald's magic, which I can assume is all we can blame for what transpires next.
Being that Atlantica the hell world is entirely underwater, and Sora, Goofy, and Donald all need air to breath (as much as we wish they would stop and just die and end my pain), they need some of Donald's magic to not-die. And so Donald is transformed into a half duck, half octopus, Goofy is transpored into a GIANT TURTLE, and Sora is transformed into some kind of merperson (on Sora's tailfin - Matt: Hey, look at that, his dick is on the wrong side! Ingrid: That's his tailfin, you fucktard! Matt: Not in -your- mind now. Ingrid: Shuttupshuttupshuttup!). For a brief moment I think "Hey, cool, Sora's a merman, thsi might be fun!" before I'm treated to a tutorial in which I have to play tag with a fish. Thus starts my steady chant of "I hate this world, I hate this world, I hate this world".
To put it briefly, the controls for swimming -suck. Instead of just arranging everything by the analog stick you need to press buttons to go up or down. Add that to the fact that the camera angles in this game always suck, and you have the most ass-raping control system -ever-. I spend way too long trying to finish the fucking tutorial, and Matt laughs his ass off. I think it was around this point that Shelly left, because she could see, even if we couldn't, that Atlantica was going to be a hell on earth for us.
There's a lot of swimming, and the fighting of weird heartless, some which look like squids, some which look like divers, some which look like divers that have had fish attached to their head, and some which look like giant swimming balls with divers hanging beneath them. I think they were sea cows, or something, with giant swimmer-teets. I don't know. Too much fucking time is spent swimming and violating clams, and Matt continues to laugh at my sad attempts to swim. It should also be noted that half the area names in this world sound like something out of porn movies, particularly when Ariel asks Sora to 'come to her secret place', which is named 'Ariel's grotto'.
I'm just saying.
We're rather disappointed to find that there aren't any puppies underwater for us to free.
We swim around some more, talk to Beardo (Ariel's father), and for some reason I have to catch a hold of a dolphin, and once more Matt has a reason to laugh at me, as I swim around and around the area going "Dammit giant fish!" and spectacularly fail to catch the stupid thing (and when I finally do, it looks like Donald's humping it).
At some point there's exposition, but Matt and I missed it because we were talking about webcomics.
The game continues, with me muttering constant obscenities at it and Matt . . . laughing, until we get to the -first- of two ass-rapingly hard boss battles against sea bitch Ursula. We spend ages trying to decode the vague information given to us by Beardo, and I don't know how many tries it takes to kick the ugly bitch's ass. We are pnwed, though.
And the pain isn't done! We have to fight the bitch -again-, only this time she'll be more powerful, and it takes us fucking forever to -find- her. Then begins the most painful part of this hell world, and we can't stop because it's been a while since a save point. The battle against super mega giant hyper mix Ursula takes us two hours of trial and error and painful death, and the battle in which we actually -succeed- takes at least half an hour of our time. But, finally, Matt manages to defeat her (Ingrid: You are a GOD!) and we are almost out of this hell hole to which we will never return.
There follows a cutscene in which Matt reads the text and I, full of boiling hatred, snarl out snarky responses to every damn thing, especially when Beardo asks us to seal the keyhole, which we TRIED TO DO WHEN WE FIRST ARRIVED YOU FUCKTARD. I admit, that was less snarky, and more rageful, but I think I deserve to be cut some slack.
After Sora has his dangerous way with yet another keyhole, we get the -pleasure- of swimming around this hell hole once more in search of a save point so we can LEAVE. We do, it's three in the morning, and we cheer and vow to god never to return. Well, I do, in my head.
For some reason, Matt wants to keep playing, and so we return to cracktown so Matt can buy -another- laser now that he has money. He does, and goes to afix it to Monstrosty, only to find that WE CAN'T PUT ANY MORE GUNS TO THE SHIP. Matt demands to know why, at this late stage of the game, they're trying to afix some kind of logic to flying around the acid-trip version of outer space in a giant candy.
We also go to the Magician's Study so we can put another page in the book of that obese over-eater, Winny the Pooh. This gives me the chance to horribly suck at another mini game, and also a chance to rape a garden. Sora runs around pulling vegetables up and throws them into outerspace - and they don't come down again. We also try to light Pooh, Rabbit's house, and Pooh on fire.
It's 3:30 in the morning, and we decide to call it a night.
And if you're still here, you deserve a drink, as do I.
Next thing we do is kill all the fishes, Almighty Ingrid, Signing Off
